Validation

Hattie's team from the Area Education Agency just left-a physical therapist, occupational therapist and infant special education teacher. They seemed very impressed with Hattie's physical development, including neck stregth, ability to lie on her side without support and how much her legs straighten out of the "froggy" position when she is lying down. A number of our attachment parenting techniques were validated during this visit, which made me feel so good. For example, our PT mentioned that she does great on her side, which is an important position because Hattie can bring her hands together to play with things and see them, work on rolling over, etc. She said "not many kids spend much time on their side these days, but then, I forgot that you breastfeed!" Since Hattie and I lie in bed to breastfeed daily, she gets to spend time on her side and move around more than other babies might. Similar things were mentioned about wearing her in carriers as a form of therapy that we can all enjoy because she is close to our bodies and snuggling while she holds her head up, as well as breastfeeding for stimulating her visually(because of switching sides more frequently).

When we decided to chose the most relationship-focused parenting techniques, it was not as an intervention for a special needs child. It was just a way to be the best parents we can to our very special child. But its nice to know that these techniques are even more important due to Hattie's extra challenges, not less.

Our choices are right for our family

:: Don't Explain ::

Being on the leading edge of parenting, you may
find yourself explaining to others *why* you parent
the way you do.

This can be a good thing when someone has
expressed curiosity about it and you're simply
sharing information. But it's better *not* to explain
yourself if you're trying to *justify* your choices.

Justifying gives away your power. It implies that
you need the other person's approval. It undermines
your self-confidence and distances you from your
Inner Guidance.

The "need" to explain and justify your choices is
based on the "need" to be right. But if your parenting
choices are "right," and the other person would parent
differently, then s/he must be "wrong." Once you get
in that right/wrong mode, conflict or interpersonal
tension is inevitable.

Instead of explaining your parenting to others,
silently remind *yourself* that your choices are right
*for you*, and your own approval is all you need.

http://www.dailygroove.net/dont-explain

A personality development

Hattie seems to have inherited my dislike of the waking up process. She'll spend about 5 minutes squirming, grimacing and making fussing noises before ever opening her eyes. Then she starts yelling and shouting, finally opens her eyes and informs me that not only is she awake, but she is STARVING. Which I get, because many a cookie has disappeared in the moments when I know I am ravenous but can't yet comprehend that cereal would be a better choice.