Sick Days

Last night I began thinking about sick days. Chris has been coming down with a cold for a couple of days, and I could tell last night that he would be calling in sick today. My first thought was "Yay, a sick day!" Sick days-days when Chris and I both called in sick-have been something like snow days for the last few years. An extra weekend day where we both feel justified in doing no housework, just lounging around the house, reading and sleeping. But then I realized, sick days will be the same as other days for me. I can't stop nursing or snuggling with Hattie just because I don't feel well, in fact, she may want to nurse more when we are all sick. Her diapers still need to be washed, as do the parts to my breast pump. So while Chris held Hattie less today, for fear of exposing her to his cold, I held her more, due to the new hobby she picked up at 3:30am -never sleeping for more than about 20 minutes at a time. Side note-this is a normal thing that babies do at six weeks/when congested and not feeling well/during a growth spurt/other thing that will go away-right???

Growing up in the 80's and 90's allowed me to believe that marriage is a partnership. We'll split things 50-50, according to our talents and interests. And so far, Chris and I have been pretty good at that. But parenthood-at least the kind of parenting we are choosing, along with our specific child's needs-does not allow for this. Even if Chris held Hattie every minute she was not nursing, I'd have her most of the time. I can see the attraction of bottles at this point. If Chris could feed Hattie, we'd be able to divide the parenting tasks more flexibly-by parts of the day, hourly shifts, etc. But since we are nursing on demand, I am the primary caregiver. I don't think I was prepared for the responsibility of this position, and I don't think Chris was prepared for how it would feel to be unable to participate in so much of Hattie's care.